Lost in a plot maze

A little while ago I began writing a short story. It was pretty much fully formed in my mind and just needed committing to paper.

I wrote the first few pages in one sitting and took a break which turned into several weeks. Today I returned to try and complete it.

Somehow I seem to have found myself in a maze. I don't know how I got to the point I'm at, nor how to get out of it. I seem to have the options of continuing and hoping it works out or abandoning it altogether.

What do I do?

The annoying part of this is the fact I know what should be happening, but the story won't listen. It seems to want to ramble along in a, seemingly, endless fashion.

I think I'm going to have to revisit on a different day and try to wield a sharp pair of editing scissors. In the meantime I'll desperately try and do some work on my, currently neglected, novel. Back to paid work next week, so I need to get some writing done while I have the chance.

Have a good weekend

Feel sorry for yourself? Not anymore...

I think we all feel sorry for ourselves now and again, believing life is treating us cruelly and no-one can have it worse. I know I do – I suffer from depression and have 'dark' days.

Well, today I read a blog from someone who truly does have it bad. Life has been cruel. I'm talking about a young lady called Alice. She is 15 years old and terminally ill. She writes a blog http://alicepyne.blogspot.com/ about her life. It is a pretty upbeat blog, considering her situation. It shows a courageous young person facing a greatly shortened life. She lists her 'bucket list' of ambitions to fulfil before she dies. This week one ambition was fulfilled when she met Take That at their Manchester concert. They seem to have given her an amazing time.

It is an amazing example to those of us who feel hard done by in life or who, like myself, struggle on some days to see the light. I can only say I doubt I would be as brave.

Unfortunately, as always on the internet, there are those who see this as an opportunity for nastiness. These cowards are posting vicious, heartless messages. No-one in their right mind would find anything remotely funny about Alice's condition, but these morons obviously gain some pleasure from their cruelty. I very much doubt they would dare behave in such a way face to face. The only printable word for such people is scum.

Please visit her blog, read it and see true courage. Teenagers get a bad press these days, but here is an example of a teenager at their best. Maybe it's in your power to help her realise part of her list?

The blog is unlikely to be easy reading as time goes by but I urge everyone to support this amazing young woman.

I will try to think of her whenever I feel low. Perhaps it will remind me how much worse I could have it and also how to handle life's difficulties.

Writing to blog or blogging to write?

Recently I've been neglecting this blog.

I began a few months ago with such good intentions – I was going to (and did at first) write every day. Now, I write once or twice a week.

What happened?

I think it's much harder to maintain a regular, interesting output than many of us realise. I certainly admire those who manage it. I have made a number of attempts to write and abandoned them as dull or pointless.

However, I have decided to make an extra effort. After all, this is what writing is about – finding something to write about.

Last week I spent the week working as an office temp. The photography business is dead and I need money, which means returning to the workplace. Last week was the first work my agency has found me.

I was a little concerned as I haven't worked in an office since last year. I worried whether I would be too 'rusty', or even too used to my own company. I needn't have worried. I was employed to help catch up on a backlog of work going back to last year. The expectation was for me to put a good sized dent in the work in order for the permanent employee to begin getting on top of it.

It was almost too easy. I cleared the entire backlog and brought everything up to date. By Friday I had nothing to do.

This was a massive relief to me as I was able to confirm all this time at home hasn't eroded my work ethic; nor my ability to work efficiently. I think my writing must take some of the credit for this. I have probably spent as much time at my home desk as I would at the office. My typing has never been superfast – I just can't learn to type, although I can find the keys in the dark (weird) - but it has definitely improved since I returned to writing.

I'm now trying to find more temping while I also seek permanent employment. Until then, I intend writing something on this blog as often as possible. I'm sure much will be the usual rambling rubbish, but I hope to also write blogs that entertain, amuse or even provoke conversation. I am a wannabe writer and I need to write if I'm to ever be a real writer.

After all, isn't the point of blogging to write?

Arise Sir Neil? I don’t think so...

I'm not an admirer of the Royal Family (as I may have mentioned previously...), nor of most of the Honours system.

I personally find it deeply offensive when someone is given an Honour for making themselves wealthy and famous. Celebrities are made Knights of the Realm purely on the basis they are famous. What has a footballer or singer done to deserve such an honour? They have pursued their ambition and made a great deal of money (often abusing their status to get away with the type of behaviour considered unacceptable in the rest of society). They then expect recognition in the form of honours.

Why?

The nurse who works a sixty hour shift, caring for the sick and dying, week after week, is surely far more deserving of recognition than a pampered entertainer or overpaid idiot footballer?

In many ways the Honours system reflects the Royals. It elevates people for no real reason – enforcing an outdated class system – and does not reflect those who truly deserve to be recognised.

There is a committee whose job it is to look into the behaviour of holders of honours. They can recommend the removal of the honour if the holder's actions bring it into disrepute. Really???? What about the various peers (stand up Lord Archer) who have ended up in prison and retained their title? Surely this alone demonstrates the nonsense of an honour system. How can you be a Peer of the Realm and, therefore, a symbol of our nation, and also be a convicted criminal.

However...

This weekend I learnt of an Honour given to an everyday individual in recognition of their work for the community. I won't tell you his name as he doesn't want publicity. He is a quiet, private person who has spent over thirty years quietly working. He helps the homeless in his spare time and is generally the exact type of person who should be recognised and rewarded for his efforts. Ironically, he is also the kind of person who is least likely to tell anyone he has been awarded his honour.

We are all incredibly pleased for him. His family is immensely proud. He is probably more embarrassed at the fuss than anything else – although I'm sure he is also very proud and amazed.

This is exactly what the Honours system should be about – recognising ordinary (in terms of not famous, there's nothing ordinary about the type of person who works so hard for no reward) people who do far more for their community than the average person. People who quietly do it for their own reasons, without expectation of anything more than the knowledge they have helped.

If the Royals must give out these awards, they should consider creating a category for the rich and famous and another for the genuinely deserving. Then we would all know who truly has earned the Honour and who has bought it with fame.

I wish I could remember what I wanted to tell you...

When I first start writing a new piece of work I am full of enthusiasm and cannot wait to commit the words to paper (or hard drive these days!). Unfortunately, that enthusiasm falls quickly away to be replaced by apathy. I struggle to make the effort to write – I often begin to consider the next piece instead – and frequently end up with a half written piece that I return to now and again without ever developing.

Recently, the same thing has happened to this blog. Where once I wrote daily, I now write once or twice a week.

The difference is more to do with the content. I'm never sure what to write about when I sit down at the computer. Sometimes inspiration strikes and the words fly from my fingers. Other times I mentally wander around looking for the germ of an idea. As the blog is entirely voluntary, I just leave it if nothing comes to mind. It's a good job I don't have a paid daily column, isn't it?

It's not even the fact I can't always think of anything to say. I often write whole chapters/blog posts in my mind as I go about my day. The problem seems to be reforming them when I have the opportunity to write.

I wonder if I just have a bad memory or whether it's more to do with a quality filter. Perhaps my 'brilliant' concepts are evaluated by the mental review committee and found to be lacking in quality. The decision is made to delete the file rather than clutter up my mind with rubbish.

It would be nice to imagine this is the case rather than an inability to remember my own thoughts...

Published!!

A couple of months ago I wrote a short piece, as part of a Writers Bureau assignment, on amateur photographers who were taking paid work from professionals.

My tutor liked the piece in terms of the actual writing, but doubted there would be anyone interested in printing it. I was naturally quite disappointed and decided to send it off anyway.

Imagine my surprise when I received a phone call from the Editor of a national magazine (Photo Professional). He informed me he liked the piece and wanted to use it as part of an article in an upcoming issue. I was delighted and couldn't stop grinning as I told everyone my news.

Well, this week the magazine hit the shops. I walked into WH Smith yesterday to check it was actually true (unfortunately I forgot to take my wallet, so I couldn't buy it!) and have a read. I stood in the shop grinning like an idiot, unable to believe it had happened – there was my piece taking up half a page in a real magazine! There was even a photo of me (I hate my picture being taken so it's fairly rare) to prove it.

I'm sure the many writers who are regularly published will laugh at such excitement over a fairly small and unpaid item, but I am still buzzing with the thrill of this achievement. It has convinced me to try harder to get more (and paid) work published. The thrill may wear off eventually – until then I'm the guy walking around town smiling for no apparent reason!

A week of restful countryside.

Last week my wife and I spent a few days in a wooden lodge in the Somerset countryside.

What a lovely, relaxing break it turned out to be.

I'm currently (and desperately) trying to find a job as my photography business just isn't working out - unfortunately I live in a city filled with photography students who seriously undercut the market price for work and leave people like me unable to earn a living. As a result, money is quite tight. In fact, I didn't expect us to go anywhere this year.

My wife, however, found a bargain break online and booked it as a surprise.

We travelled up to Somerset in a mixture of sunshine and drizzle – a sign of the week to come – and arrived to be informed the forecast was miserable for most of the week.

In a fit of ridiculous optimism, I had failed to pack anything but summer clothing, with the exception of a hoody from Italy. As a result I spent the week wandering around the countryside in shorts and open toed shoes (expensive flip flops!).

It didn't matter at all. We walked for miles and saw lots of wildlife. As someone who grew up in a council house in North London, I am always amazed at the number of animals roaming free in the British countryside. We took dozens of photos and walked along footpaths through farm land (somehow I always feel like a trespasser when we do this). The views at the top of the hills were breathtaking (getting to the top was pretty breathtaking too!) and I felt my cares drift away as the week progressed.

Returning to the lodge we were able to relax our aching muscles in the best part of the lodge – an outdoor hot tub. What a pleasure. We sat in the tub each evening and relaxed to the sound of the birds singing. Disappointingly, the weather was predominantly cloudy, so no stars, but it didn't really matter.

On our last evening we walked up a pretty steep hill and sat to watch the hills come alive at dusk. We saw rabbits come out on the opposite hill, playing as they ran around. Then a fox, hunting nearby.

After a while we noticed another fox, very near the rabbits, but not moving. After a few moments we saw the reason – she was with her cubs. Four fox cubs chasing each other and enjoying the evening sunshine (the few minutes we had...). What an amazing sight; we sat for a long time just watching them at play. It was the perfect end to a relaxing week.

Hopefully, my mind is now sufficiently recharged to enable me to get on with my novel (I thought of a direction change while sitting in the hot tub) and finally climb past the wall I've run into.

No redemption for my bad guys...

I was watching a Bond film this weekend when I was reminded of a pet hate in modern film – the redemption of the 'bad guy'.
In this particular film, the murderous henchman 'Jaws' helps Bond escape because he (Jaws) has found a young love. Instantly all his murders are forgiven and we are assured by Bond "He'll be fine." For the entire film he has been a murderer, but now he's a good guy???
This particular habit has been seen for years in modern films. Darth Vader is redeemed at the end of Return of the Jedi when he decides not to assist in the murder of his son. By the end of the film he is seen in ghost form, waving and smiling. It would appear his one act of mercy redeems him from the millions of deaths he has caused. I'm sure the many victims would say "Oh, okay. He didn't kill his son, he must be a good guy now..."
Why does Hollywood feel the need to 'save' the truly evil character in such a way? I'm sure we could all name dozens of films where an apparently evil person suddenly becomes a good guy moments before their death. Is this the modern version of the religious fiction involving death bed salvation?
I find this particularly ridiculous when you consider the real world. Nazi concentration camp guards are, quite rightly, arrested and convicted sixty years after the event. No-one would say they should be forgiven as they've been well behaved ever since. They committed atrocities and will die with that around their necks.
I am not religious and believe in neither Heaven nor Hell, I believe your punishment should be to live (or die) with the cost of your life actions on your conscience. I do not agree with the concept of forgiveness for showing contrition. When was that punishment for the taking of innocent lives? If Bin Laden was found working in an orphanage, having foresworn violence, would he have been forgiven? Of course not.
Hitler was apparently kind to children and his dogs. He was still a mass murderer and deserving of eternal condemnation by history.
Let's remember one or two acts of kindness are not enough to redeem an evil person, even in fiction. They are usually self-serving acts anyway. The killer who lets a person live is normally indulging a whim. Nothing more.
I certainly hope to make my characters, good and bad, more complex than the two dimensional white hat/black hat convention, but I will also remember evil is always evil at heart. There will be no last minute salvation for my bad guys.

The Cone marches on...

I discovered some exciting news about my Colin the Cone character today.

Following my creation of a Facebook page for him he has begun to accumulate a number of friends. Initially, this was entirely made up of people known to me, but no longer....

I've (he has?) started receiving friend requests from people who've seen him and want to join in the fun. Not only that, but they've begun sending me pictures of him in their workplace. Now add in the fact they are in Australia (I'm in the UK) and I find this very exciting! I'm informed they have acquired a cone and intend taking him on road trips as well. Considering they work in a bank, I'm astonished at his popularity with them.

I intend making up a small, softback book to send out to them, with his story and images in it.

Perhaps this is the start of a boom in Colin mania? World domination can only be a short time away...

Good manners - **** off, I’m British!

I've just read a very interesting piece by Alex Gazzola http://mistakeswritersmake.blogspot.com/2011/05/mistake-no-48-no-thank-you.html on the failure of writes to say 'Thank you' for assistance provided.

This left me considering the lack of manners which seems to be becoming commonplace in our society.

The English (or the British) have a world reputation for good manners and a sense of fair play. But do we deserve it?

Walk through any city or town centre and you can expect to be pushed, shoved, sworn at and looked at with contempt for no obvious reasons. People show no consideration for others – they will gather in doorways and aisles without any concern for the people trying to get by. Ask them (politely) to let you by and you can often find yourself treated like a nuisance.

The shop assistants are frequently rude, ignorant or plain unwilling. If they don't like people they should work elsewhere or remember they are being paid to serve. I think this is part of the problem – the idea of serving someone suggests they are better than you. Most young people now regard themselves as something exceptional – without considering any need to do anything to earn the title. Result? They look down on everyone else. Unfortunately, they no longer grow out of this attitude as they grow older.

Too many trashy TV shows highlight the sort of attitude teenagers emulate. The plethora of 'reality' shows encourage teenagers to expect everything handed to them. They don't see a need for manners – "only losers say please!"

I was taught to say please and thank you, open doors for people, etc. Now I'm frequently looked at with contempt – if the person even acknowledges me at all!

Our society has changed from one with clearly defined class lines to one with opportunities for anyone to improve their situation – provided you have the necessary talent, work hard and get the breaks.

This is a good thing.

Unfortunately, it also seems to have taken away any desire to show respect to anyone. Not so good...

Our reputation around the world can no longer be that of good manners - visit any holiday spot and watch the rude behaviour of the British abroad. Instead we must now be seen as ill mannered hooligans.

I was going to continue to complain, but I think you get the idea. I know plenty of people (young and older) who have good manners, are polite and friendly – but we all know it is the unpleasant few who are always the most noticed.

Thank you for stopping by.

Reality? I think I prefer mine without...

Last week I read a blog where someone discussed seeing a scene from the Royal Wedding (yawn!) where the archbishop danced down the aisle.

I commented that this was actually a spoof made by T-mobile to promote their services.

The blogger responded with the comment that I might be right, but they still did it!

I was frankly amazed that anyone would actually believe this was genuine footage. I then heard that there have been thousands of people commenting on the 'Royals' dancing. They have completely failed to realise they are all actors!

It left me wondering about our perception of reality. These people want to believe it happened so they ignore common sense (can anyone really imagine the most uptight family in the UK behaving in this manner?) and decide it's true.

I wonder where it ends. I've seen Spiderman, so I guess he must real...

As a writer you want your readers to believe in your characters, but I like to hope they can differentiate between fiction and reality.

I would be seriously concerned about anyone who regarded anything they see on TV as true, regardless of the context.

If you were one of the viewers who saw the T-mobile ad and thought it was real I suggest you sit in a darkened room until you feel sane again. Dancing Royals? Please...

The expansion of Colin the Cone

I’ve spent the last few days thinking about my Colin the Cone character and attempting to start him on the viral pathway. This is much harder than I expected, although he does now have his own facebook page and half a dozen ‘friends’.

I’m hoping to use the house teenagers to spread the word about him and encourage visitors to his website.

I’m also asking his friends to send pictures of him if they spot him on his travels (some of his friends are in Australia).

Any suggestions for spreading the Colin website would be gratefully accepted – I will shortly be printing a few t-shirts and keyrings to try and raise his profile.

Time for a Republic

Half the country appears to be obsessed with watching a pair of rich, privileged people get married at our expense.

I am not a fan of the royalty and fail to comprehend the fascination with their wedding. I also fail to understand why I am contributing to the wedding of a multi-millionaire.

We hear all the nonsense about bringing revenue into the country, but I don't expect a cheque in the post as a return on my involuntary investment in this rubbish.

The royal family is an anachronism in the 21st century - why should someone be given such wealth and position just for being born? The behaviour of various family members over the last few decades demonstrate they do not truly deserve such admiration and privilege.

The Prince of Wales will inherit the title of Head of the Church when he becomes King, despite standing in Westminster Abbey and taking vows he had no intention of keeping. Is this someone who deserves to be given the throne? Should anyone sit on a throne in a modern democracy?

The royals have demonstrated a strong and broad streak of self interest - not the social conscience a modern regent should be expected to show.

When Windsor castle burnt down we were presented with a bill that would have kept a hospital ward open. No-one would ever expect the taxpayer to cover your uninsured losses - except a royal!

It's time to send them on their way - either sell them to the Americans who love them, or stop the civil list and other incomes and let them earn a living like the rest of the country. If they are such a income generator for the UK they can be employed by the tourist industry.

For myself, I would welcome the removal of the throne and all it's benefits.

Today has just reminded me how much I dislike this privileged, undeserving family.

Adventures of a traffic cone...

My novel is struggling for life at present – both in terms of 'coming to life' and in awaiting my decision whether to continue with it.

I am loathe to throw it on the unfinished, unloved and unwanted pile, but I can't get past the giant roadblock I seem to have thrown up.

As a result, I've decided to concentrate some of my energies on a character I invented whilst stuck in a jam on the motorway.

As we sat in the traffic, I made up a short story which took life as I told it. Colin the Cone was born.

Returning home I drew some (fairly crude) cartoons to illustrate parts of the tale and, before I knew it, he had his own website. www.colinthecone.co.uk

The site and the stories are still being developed, but I'm quite pleased with it so far. The illustrations are possible going to transfer onto some t-shirts - with the hope of sales – and I'm looking at a possible short book of stories/illustrations. Some of the images/jokes are quite adult although there is a more family friendly set as well.

Please feel free to visit the site and leave any comments, either via the site e-mail or this blog.

Writing for therapy?

Some years ago I was having a very difficult time in my life.

I was, quite honestly, falling apart. I was drinking to excess, experiencing panic attacks and severe mood swings. Friends and family begged me to seek help, but I refused to do so.

Like many men, I considered mental health issues to be a sign of weakness. I didn't need help, I could cope...

Until one day, I finally admitted to myself I was in trouble.

I was at university at the time and, after a number of false starts, went to see the counselling services. The counsellor was exactly what I needed – she listened, made suggestions and provided a 'safe' place. My six sessions became several months as she assessed me as suffering severe depression.

Along the way, she convinced me to seek medical assistance and I visited my GP. Unfortunately, not all GPs regard depression as worthy of their time. My GP prescribed a course of Seroxat and sent me on my way. The drugs left me numb and served only to cut me off from the world even more. Eventually I chose to stop taking them and experienced a few weeks of side effects.

After the best part of a year I felt much better – able to deal with life again.

What nobody told me is the fact depression can return.

Last year I was diagnosed as suffering from moderate depression after an extended period of high stress. My GP is a far more understanding person than the previous one, which meant he listened to my concerns and prescribed a suitable medication. He also informed me I may need a very long term prescription to help me remained 'balanced' chemically. This was not exactly good news, but the truth is I am much more relaxed than I've been in years.

Which brings me to...

I have written since childhood but lost the habit a few years ago. Since I have had time on my hands I have returned to writing on a daily basis (although as we all know, that's not always easy!), even if it's only this blog.

I have read that writing can be therapeutic and I must agree. I had forgotten how good it feels to complete some work and read it back with the satisfied feeling of having created something. My wife encourages my writing as she can see the therapeutic value, as well as the (extremely optimistic) hope it may develop into something more.

Many blog writers seem to have personal difficulties - or just stressful lives – and I believe many of us gain great benefits from our daily outputs. I know I certainly enjoy both the reading of other blogs and the writing of this one.

Perhaps the GPs should add this to their list of therapies?

What a great week...

...it's been.

The weather has been amazing – especially considering we've had a Bank Holiday!

My wife and I have been out and about every day since last Thursday. When was the last unbroken run of sunshine we've seen on a Bank Holiday weekend? I found myself say on a crowded beach on Thursday in temperatures warmer than the Med. The weather is truly crazy!

It has been wonderful to see the number of families out and about this weekend. I have spent a couple of days in my role as giant toy for my nephew and niece and, as someone who rarely steps into the world of children, it has been interesting to see the large amount of families playing together over the holiday weekend. It's very different from my memories of childhood where we seemed to spend most of our time amusing ourselves.

Yesterday we walked to the Barbican for a late afternoon drink (we earned it by walking a couple of miles of the Plym Valley trail in the early afternoon) and sat by the harbour with a cold beer on a hot afternoon. The perfect end to a long weekend that has felt like a holiday abroad. Sun and beautiful surroundings shared with family and friends – can it get better?

On the downside, all this sunshine means I've neglected my writing. I managed a few hundred words when we were preparing to go out, but I need to force myself to sit and work. Unfortunately, I love the good weather and need to learn some self discipline...

Why can’t I write?

I seem to have run into a brick wall this week.

My novel is at a standstill, a couple of short stories I've been working on are just sitting there and daring me to try to move them and I've even struggled to blog this week.

What's happened to all my momentum???

I'd like to blame my cold, but that's never stopped me before. I usually find it useful to take my mind off of things by writing, so I can't blame distractions.

The beautiful weather is not a particularly good incentive to stay indoors, but I have a laptop I can use in the garden. So no use blaming the sunshine...

Last week I had the news about my piece being published which should have been a boost to my writing but wasn't.

I have suffered from depression on and off for some years and have always found writing to be quite therapeutic. Perhaps that is my problem. I'm fairly at peace with myself at present (which is quite surprising, to be honest) and maybe my mind is holding on to all the 'good' writing until I need it again?

Whatever the reason, it has provided an opportunity to catch up on my reading (those who can, etc...) and revisit one or two old favourites. I just wish I was producing my own stories, rather than reading someone else's.

Perhaps I'll try a few flash fiction stories – they might be written before inspiration deserts me...

Published at last!

It's been a bit of a strange week.

After months of applying for jobs, two interviews came along together. I had one yesterday and I've just come back from a second. What's going on? Why have I gone from famine to feast? I'm uncertain about wanting one of the jobs – I'm not sure I would fit in – but, it's still good to actually get a chance at last.

Speaking of which, I am going to be published!

I recently wrote a piece for the WB coursework which my tutor felt was unlikely to find a market. I disagreed as I believed it was relevant to many people, so I sent it to a photography magazine (ostensibly for the letters page, although it was a little long). This Wednesday I received a phone call from the editor asking if he could use it as part of a feature. I was delighted and readily agreed.

He came back and asked for a photo of me to go with the piece. This was harder than writing the item. I am a photographer; I take the pictures and hide behind the camera. I don't like having my picture taken and, in my opinion, always look like Shrek's uglier brother.

Still, I set up my gear and took a handful of self portraits in the hope of finding an acceptable image. The Editor seemed pleased with the picture I sent, but I still await the mockery from everyone I know.

Perhaps next time, I'll tell them I'm a vampire and don't show up on film...

Stuck firmly in the bog of self doubt...

Well, it's been more than a week since I last wrote a single word of my novel.

I was feeling pretty happy about it until I had a wander around Waterstones; I suddenly found myself faced with the truth – my story has no originality, nor is it what I wanted to write. I seem to have lost my way somewhere along the road.

Result? I keep staring at the screen and wondering what went wrong. The story excited me when I came up with it, I had confidence it would be a good read (I'm honest enough to know it wasn't ever going to be a classic) and feedback I received was positive.

Then I walked into a shop full of books and realised I could find versions of my story all over the place.

I've been writing my blog and mentally writing a short ghost story while the rest of my mind is left to its own devices in the hope it will come up with a solution (I like to leave my mind to do the work!), but at present the novel is firmly bogged down.

I suspect I have two options; either throw it in the 'never mind pile' and forget it or keep writing and see where it takes me. As I have committed all my energy to this project I should probably keep going and see whether it improves. If not, at least I'm writing and learning.

Of course, this might just be a case of self doubt undermining me. Perhaps I'm writing the next big thing (if only...).

Wasted generation?

I haven't actually decided what this post will be about today.

I had a few thoughts, but they seem to have blown away before I could grab hold. So, please excuse me if this seems to be a ramble (although that is the subtitle of this blog...).

I've recently been looking for employment as the photography business is pretty quiet at present (I live in a city filled with photography students, which doesn't help) and I'm finding it extremely difficult.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am an experienced administrator. Unfortunately, this is my problem as well as my selling point. Employers don't seem to want to employ someone at my level – the agencies inform me I am well qualified and the perfect candidate. Apparently that makes me too expensive for some and too much of a threat to others. Result? I can't get a job.

Now for the flipside of the coin. I know a nineteen year old who left college last year with a National diploma. His school exams were good and he is a bright, honest person. He has been looking for work for over a year without success. Apart from a short stint in an office as a temp and a holiday job last summer he has been turned down for everything he applies for. The reason given? Not enough experience! Somewhere between us we must have exactly the right amount of experience for these people?

All around the country it is getting harder to find work. I am in my late forties and have decided to go back to university and start a new degree. This will at least keep me from giving up hope, but what about all these young people with no work? The government suggests training programmes and further education. Fine if you're academically minded, but what will you do after the education? There are no jobs now – by the time you return to the job market there will probably be even fewer jobs and more applicants. And you'll probably be told you're over-qualified!

Raising the age of school leavers solves nothing. It will cause overcrowding in schools, resentment by students who don't want to be there and more problems for overstretched teaching staff. It is merely a way of reducing the unemployment figures.

Those on training programmes will be replaced with new trainees as soon as the course ends. It enables companies to enjoy a constant stream of cheap employees; it doesn't offer long term solutions to the unemployed. Some years ago I worked as a Work Placement Officer and I saw this happen constantly.

Is it any wonder the numbers of supporters for any of the less mainstream political parties is increasing? When young people see more and more immigrants being pushed in front of them for housing, jobs, etc they are bound to feel resentful. Resent can easily lead to anger, which leads to violence. They can feel as though they are less valued by their own countrymen than a newcomer is. This caused race riots in the seventies and eighties – this is not something we wish to see again.

I'm not offering solutions to these issues – I don't have the answers – but I do believe we must look at ways to help rescue the people trapped at either end of the job seeking market. We have many social problems, a number of which involve young unemployed people; we need to understand that these will continue as long as they feel unwanted and that their lives are wasted.

Well, it seems I did have something to say after all.

I think I'll end here, but I welcome any comments or views you may have on this post.

A Writer? No, not me!

I've just read a blog which discussed the type of person who claims to be a writer. The blog stated there are two types; the person who tells everyone they are a writer in order to impress people and the person who just gets on and writes.

I must admit I am definitely not in the first category. I never tell anyone that I write (most people are aware I am a photographer) – in fact I find it a little embarrassing when someone finds out. I'm quick to point out I've never been published and am unlikely to ever be so.

However, I might have less choice in the matter this September, as I've been offered a place in the second year of a BA in Creative Writing. I can hardly deny being a writer whist undertaking this programme, can I?

This leads me to my next question. At what point do you say you are a writer and actually have credibility?

In my opinion, anyone who writes for the sake of writing, good or bad, is a writer. In the same way as anyone else who pursues an interest can call themselves a painter, footballer, etc, if you write you are a writer.

The difference for some of us is a desire to send our babies out into the world to see if they can survive on their own. The reality is not good. For every one successful writer there are thousands of recipients of reject slips.

The truth of the matter is simple – we write because we love it and we dream that others will love our work as much as we do. I believe anyone who writes because they have no choice in the matter (from desire, not coercion) can, and must, call themselves a writer.

When I join the BA in September I will be surrounded by much younger students who will undoubtedly be more than prepared to use the 'W' word to describe themselves. Hopefully, by then, I will have the courage to do the same.

A lovely day in Devon

As I sit here with my door open onto the back garden I realise how lucky I am to live in Devon.

I grew up in North London and only saw the countryside, or the sea, on daytrips with the family. It is an amazing privilege to be able to enjoy the amazing scenery of Devon on a daily basis. I can see the hills of Dartmoor in the distance whenever I look out of the kitchen window. On a walk into the city I have a view of Plymouth Sound in the distance. More than once I have stopped dead as I walk around a corner and find myself faced with a beautiful view.

Not long after I moved to Plymouth I was sat outside a bar having a drink as the sun went down. Suddenly it struck me – this was my daily life if I wished it to be. I could enjoy the sunset across the Hoe (slight poetic licence here as it sets to the west of the Hoe!), or walk on the moors at any time I wished. It is like visiting a beautiful holiday location and never leaving.

The Barbican is one of my favourite places for a drink and something to eat. How can you not enjoy it when you have such beautiful and historic surroundings?

                                      

I don't want to give the impression I see Plymouth through rose tinted glasses – there are plenty of unpleasant areas – but it offers an opportunity to enjoy the summer months in a way I never believed possible when I was younger. Even in the winter we enjoy some beautiful scenery and can walk on beaches, rock hopping and enjoying being outside.

The moors are beautiful all year round - from the colours of summer to the stark beauty of winter. I often travel around the moors area and love the feeling of peace it gives you.

 
A view like that is definitely worth the walk!


I could go on about living in Devon (and I may do so another day...), but for now I'm heading out to the garden to reacquaint myself with sunshine.

How much for a degree?

Last night I watched the Dispatches programme about UK universities ‘selling’ degrees.

As someone who worked in the International Admissions dept of a UK university for a number of years I didn’t feel it went far enough.

International students are seen as cash cows for many universities, so much so they are actively recruited even when they are not suited to study at university level. Their qualifications are either ignored or ‘reassessed’ to make them fit the entry criteria.

There are two recognised bodies used by most UK institutions. IELTS which carries out English language assessments around the world and is part of the British Council (there is also TOEFL, a US company) and NARIC who provides accurate comparisons between UK qualifications and those around the world.

These provide excellent information which should ensure all students are equally qualified to undertake Higher education, either at degree level or postgraduate study.

Unfortunately, there is no requirement for universities to adhere to these guidelines, therefore the admissions officer (or academic, etc) is free to disregard the evidence and make an offer of a place at university to anyone they please. 

This usually means poorly qualified, often unable to speak English, and low quality candidates. 

I have seen many international students given university places that would never have been offered to UK students with the same level of qualifications. Even UK natives are expected to have a GCSE in English, yet we offered places to people who have to contact us via an interpreter! 

I was once informed by a senior manager that I was to be quiet when I questioned an offer made to someone who was ill qualified for entry on a degree programme (they were actually offered a PhD candidacy) as I should remember they paid £10,000 a year to “come here and fail”. There is absolutely no interest in either the students, nor in the quality of the service offered – it’s entirely about the money they can bring.

This, in itself, is often an erroneous belief. Many students do not have the fees; they borrow them from a family friend in order to obtain the visa required to enter the UK. Some actually attend the university and attend lectures while promising the money (they can then return home and claim to have a UK qualification), but many others merely disappear upon arrival in the UK.

To give one example; a couple of years ago my department issued unconditional offers (needed to obtain a visa) to almost 100 Ghanaian applicants. Not one enrolled.

This is being tightened up now with the introduction of the new visa system, but I have heard many academics state they will not keep a record on students attendance, so who knows...

I know of academics who have been bullied (by senior members of the university) to accept unsuitable students, or academics who seem to be willing to offer a visa letter to anyone in sight. I am personally aware of one academic who ‘guaranteed’ offer letters in exchange for an arrangement fee. This was a few years ago and has hopefully been stopped.

The simple truth is UK universities see the international community as a source of large amounts of cash – most universities now regard this as a major part of their recruitment – and they are willing to overlook many aspects of the application - provided the student says they have the fees.

There are also those ‘students’ who are only interested in gaining entry into the UK. It is much simpler to apply to the UK as a student (false documents abound) and enter as a legal visitor than it is to attempt to come into the country illegally. It’s also cheaper as many universities issue the visa letter before asking for fees.

A number of terror suspects in recent years have been here on student visas. This alone should cause universities to think hard about their recruitment policies. My ex-colleagues and I have all commented on the possibility of seeing one of our ‘dubious’ applicants on the front page of the newspapers.

I can only hope this situation is repeatedly highlighted until the authorities address it. Many International students come here to gain a UK qualification as they feel it is respected worldwide. These students, along with UK students, deserve better than the service they receive. 

International students represent an important market for the UK and they should not be left feeling as though no-one cares. A good international student deserves a good university. Let’s remember they are probably equally horrified to find themselves in a lecture with students who were their inferior back home. They also are unlikely to appreciate the image given by these poor quality students who are seen by many to be typical internationals.

Why I want to write like...

At the end of last year, the Writers Bureau magazine Chapter & Verse asked readers to submit a piece entitled 'Why I want to write like...'. Time and other commitments meant I missed the deadline (I managed the next one and was included in the magazine!) and didn't submit my piece. So, I thought I'd share it with you today.

Why I want to write like – Stephen King...

He may not be shortlisted for the big literary prizes, but Stephen King is my choice for one reason – he is extremely good at doing his job. I don’t pick up a Stephen King expecting important literature, I expect an enjoyable read. He has never let me down and I feel this is the single most important aspect of the writer and reader relationship. 

When you read a King book you know you will become immersed in the lives of his characters. He may not be the greatest living writer, but his books are truly absorbing, with real people that you care about. I would love to be able to create characters and places with such strong and believable histories. For me, a writer who can create such magic and provide entertainment for so many people around the world is surely a better writer (in terms of writing something people actually want to read and will enjoy) than any of the high brow literary greats whose work only appeals to the few.

Stephen King is a writer without a conscience. I don’t mean he’s an evil sociopath; just that he is willing to kill off anyone to improve the story. Most of us labour to create a believable, rounded character and then do our best to protect them through the story. Mr King breathes life into a character just to snuff it out again. This has the effect of always leaving you unsure how the story will come out – there’s no guarantee the hero will even survive the adventure. How many of us are brave enough to kill off strong, believable characters so casually?

I don’t wish to write horror; I would just like to write with even a portion of the talent of King when it comes to developing characters and situations that hold the readers interest until they turn the last page. I have often finished a King book with regret that I am leaving his world. I can think of no better compliment to a writer and can only dream of ever writing even one story with such power.

I enjoy reading a wide range of books in a number of genres, but I have rarely found any writer who can weave such a powerful spell around the reader. Stephen King, at his best, is the greatest example of a truly skilful storyteller. Any aspiring writer could certainly do far worse than aspire to reach such a level of writing (in my opinion...).

Books from my childhood

I thought I'd write something a little different today.

I've noticed a number of blogs discussing whether writing for children is 'proper' writing and I thought I might just list and discuss a few books from my childhood (when they were chiselled in slate!).

I don't think any list of favourite childhood books can be complete without:

1. The Paddington series by Michael Bond. A wonderful creation who subtly teaches children to be kind and polite - without being a walkover. Even today, in my house, we refer to "giving a Paddington hard stare" at anyone who upsets us. I must admit I was first in line when the new book, Paddington: Here and Now,  was released a couple of years ago. I still found myself laughing out loud with enjoyment. Can there be a greater definition of a writer than one who can generate such feelings with their writing?
2. The Jennings series by Anthony Buckeridge. I discovered these books when I was about eight or nine. I grew up in a council house in North London, so the world of boarding school and 'jolly japes' was an alien one to me. This series drew me in and showed me a different aspect of life. I loved these stories and desperately wished I could join Jennings, Darbishire and the gang. It offered a much happier life than I felt I had and provided me with an escape for a few hours. The books are undoubtedly outdated now, but I'd still like to see them being read. In fact, they are still sold on Amazon - perhaps they are still popular. I hope so.
3. Outdated, racist, elitist - perhaps. But Enid Blyton provided many of the books I worked through at home to improve my reading. I read all the Famous Five, Secret Seven, etc books and must admit to greatly enjoying them. At an age where sexual politics was unknown I never considered the tomboy, George, to be anything but that. I didn't see any of the subtext that we are now told makes her (Blyton) so bad - I just saw enjoyable adventures. I also enjoyed (at a younger age) the Wishing Chair and the Faraway Tree stories.    I do worry that academics and politically motivated readers will search for any opportunity to brand a writer. To my mind, Blyton was a product of her time. Her books deserve to be enjoyed by children, not torn apart by adults looking for a peg to hang their political hats. (Sorry, rant over).
4. Dr No by Ian Fleming. Not a children's book I know , but I read this aged eleven. Therefore I consider it a book from my childhood. I was given this by a wonderful English teacher who wanted to keep my love of reading alive. The set books were Shakespeare, A Man for all Seasons, Poetry and another book which has now passed from my mind. My teacher was aware this was not a set designed to appeal to the heart of an eleven year old boy (even one with an adult reading level) and provided the Bond book as an incentive. Like most adolescents I was hooked on Bond from page one. I devoured the entire series over the next few years. My father  was not a book person and would often throw my books away if he was in the mood, so these books were quite often my 'under the bed clothes with a torch' books. We must, of course, also remember that Fleming also wrote a book specifically for children that is loved by all ages as a film and stage show - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! Who says proper writers don't do children's stories?

This seems to be turning into an epic blog. Perhaps I'll return to this theme another day. Please leave a comment if you would like to mention a favourite book from your childhood. It would be interesting to see other opinions.

Thanks

Neil

New name, same rubbish...

Hi

You may notice I've changed the name of this blog. I felt I ought to do so as I realised there is already someone using the 'New Beginnings' title and I wanted to avoid confusion. Plus, this blog really is just me thinking out loud and pontificating to the world, so 'Neil's Notions' makes more sense.

I would like to clarify something I wrote yesterday on bullying in the media. I stated the author in the war of words was deservedly criticised for her behaviour. That is not to say I, in any way, condone the over the top responses she received towards the end of the 'debate'. By the end of the thread the writers were behaving just as badly as the author. The pack mentality seemed to give licence to kick her when she was down. I was unnecessary and unacceptable. The point had already been made and the later contributors were just joining in to kick someone (in my opinion...).

Anyway, that's all I wanted to say on that subject. I just wanted to clarify I didn't condone the bullying from either side.

On an entirely different note (though also related, oddly!) Sally Quiller is today telling us how her blog has gained a massive new audience thanks to a friend twittering to Stephen Fry about it. Sally had written a piece on the above controversy and Stephen Fry recommended it on his twitter. Result? A great many new visitors to the blog.

If only we all could call on Mr Fry to promote our blogs...

Back to trying to write that first novel.

Bully? Not me - I'm famous!!

I was recently reading an article on a certain foul mouthed chef when a question occurred to me. Exactly when did the famous British good manners and sense of fair play become replaced by appalling behaviour and cruelty?

I don't watch  so called 'reality' TV (although it certainly doesn't reflect any reality I'm aware of), nor do I care for  the many 'talent' shows currently infesting the channels, so I'm perhaps ill placed to discuss this issue.

However, it seems to me, we have permitted the popular culture to be taken over by bullies and yobs. TV shows seem to want to humiliate participants for the pleasure of the overpaid, over-hyped and often talentless host. 

Why do the public go on these shows, knowing how they'll be treated? Simple - they are willing to be used and abused in the desperate hope they will be plucked from obscurity and awarded the keys to the world of fame and fortune. Some even manage it for a while, although they are often still used as a punchline...

I know someone who applied for the X-Factor. They are an accomplished singer who, a few years ago, came third in a BBC amateur singing contest (first and second went to people who had previously held recording contracts). They didn't make it through the first round of auditions.

Most of the people being chosen to go through were those most likely to provide the judges with the opportunity to laugh at them. A few lucky, talented performers were selected, but the  main goal was to provide fodder for the bullies.

The Weakest Link features a deeply unpleasant woman who cruelly mocks her victims between rounds. Her apparent superiority appears based on nothing more substantial than a BBC contract and assured payment at the end of the episode. She is reputed to fly into a rage if anyone dares stand up to her. In any other environment this would be considered bullying in the workplace and open to legal action. In showbusiness it is regarded as 'entertainment'. 

There must be something deeply wrong with anyone who feels the need to be so nasty to people - even worse is the fact they are not only permitted to behave in this way, but the victim is restrained from defending themselves. 

Some of these programmes now encourage the audience to join in with the bullying by shouting down the 'victim'. This seems very reminiscent of Ancient Rome and the gladiatorial battles. The gladiators (or the Christians) were there to be sacrificed to the public desire for entertainment. They were offered the very slim chance to succeed and gain their freedom and some form of riches (much like the contestants of today) although their true purpose was to feed the hunger for blood of the audience.

Perhaps it should be remembered the Games were introduced to take the public's mind off of the problems of the state. No-one seems to bay for blood during the good times - only when times are hard. These bullies and yobs belong in a different world to the rest of us. 

Most of us will have seen the recent 'war of words' on a writing forum between a disgruntled writer and a reviewer. The behaviour of the writer was that of a spoiled child having a tantrum. This led to a high number of comments criticising (quite rightly) her behaviour. If only as many people were as vociferous about all the high profile bullies in the modern media. 

It's time we reasserted our right to a decent and caring society and take the bullies toys away. Remove them from our screens until they can demonstrate the ability to behave like decent members of society.

Unfortunately, I suspect, the public thirst for blood - both real and figurative - is now so ingrained we are stuck with this 'entertainment' for the foreseeable future. 

Perhaps Stephen King's Running Man isn't fantasy but foresight...

Life - where did it go?

I find myself feeling quite old today.

Last night I sent off my application to return to university this autumn. As I re-read my application I realised it has been thirty years since I left school. Where did it all go? My last time at university was in the last century!!

I am often surprised to find the 80's (my twenties) were so long ago. Young faces are now middle aged members of the establishment, middle aged TV/film stars are now elderly or dead.

How do we allow time to drag us along, missing the views on the way? It's a little like sitting at the back of a train and only seeing the scenery once it has gone past. So many opportunities missed...

There are aspects of my life that I would certainly not want to repeat, but I don't believe you can look back and think "If I could do it again, I wouldn't do that" without losing many of the positive elements you've gained along the way.

I had an awful divorce that left my life in tatters.However, it created the circumstances that, years later, led me to meet my current wife. She is the best thing to ever happened to me, but I probably wouldn't have met her if I hadn't gone through the bad times first. It was only the negatives that caused me to be in the right place to meet her.  So, if I went back and avoided the bad times, I would almost certainly not be where I am now. Which is with someone very special.

I guess the point of this ramble is to say we're all products of all our experiences - good and bad. Yin & Yang is a very good illustration of this - you can't have dark without light, good without bad, etc. The next time I wonder where the years have gone I'll try to remember; they're all looking back at me in the mirror or in my writing.

Hopefully this makes some sense  - please feel free to give me your thoughts on the subject - even if you disagree!

Thanks

Neil