What the hell?

I have just discovered something that I find more than a little worrying.

Today, I brought up my Blogger stats page and noticed the traffic appears to come primarily from one address (see below) -

 
 This is not somewhere I'm familiar with, so I clicked on it (more out of curiousity as to how they knew about me to redirect traffic) and was shocked to discover I was on a site filled with pornographic images.

I would hate anyone reading my blog to think I was in any linked with this site. My blog is all about the ramblings of a would be writer/photographer and in no way would I wish to be associated with this other site.

I am worried that it is either a virus in Blogger (I've certainly never put my blog up for any forwarding sites) or someone has created a link between my blog and this site. Either way, I will be keeping a careful eye on any other 'forwarding sites' appearing in my Traffic report, but I certainly won't casually open them again.

I would definitely recommend caution if you see any unknown sites in your own reports.

Neil

Get back to that keyboard

Well, it's been a while since I wrote a proper blog (no developments on the attempt to earn from it as yet) and I thought it was time to start up again.

The last few months have been a little difficult - my depression makes it hard to find the enthusiasm to do anything - and as a result my writing has stopped completely. 

It's a bit of a vicious cycle as I feel even more down when I stare at the screen and can't even write a simple piece.

Anyway, my wife has finally convinced me to pick up one of the many part written/half conceived stories and have a serious go at finishing it off. 

At the same time I'm also looking into putting together a few of my short stories and creating a Kindle book. If nothing else, it will keep me occupied and might even be enjoyed by at least one person...

The hardest part for me now is deciding which story I feel most comfortable in trying to develop into a book. They say you should write what you know which has reduced it to two choices. I love sci-fi, so that offers one of my routes, but I have started a book with hints of self biography (only in so much as the main character has led a similar life, but without all the cock-ups) and a list of characters drawn from real life.

To be honest, the sci-fi feels a bit of a shambles (different parts seem to be different books) so I suspect I will be writing option 2.

I'm going to try to blog as much as possible, as well as work on the book every day. Maybe the last few months will prove to be the push I needed to actually finish writing at least one book.

Thanks for visiting

Neil

Writing to blog or blogging to write?

Recently I've been neglecting this blog.

I began a few months ago with such good intentions – I was going to (and did at first) write every day. Now, I write once or twice a week.

What happened?

I think it's much harder to maintain a regular, interesting output than many of us realise. I certainly admire those who manage it. I have made a number of attempts to write and abandoned them as dull or pointless.

However, I have decided to make an extra effort. After all, this is what writing is about – finding something to write about.

Last week I spent the week working as an office temp. The photography business is dead and I need money, which means returning to the workplace. Last week was the first work my agency has found me.

I was a little concerned as I haven't worked in an office since last year. I worried whether I would be too 'rusty', or even too used to my own company. I needn't have worried. I was employed to help catch up on a backlog of work going back to last year. The expectation was for me to put a good sized dent in the work in order for the permanent employee to begin getting on top of it.

It was almost too easy. I cleared the entire backlog and brought everything up to date. By Friday I had nothing to do.

This was a massive relief to me as I was able to confirm all this time at home hasn't eroded my work ethic; nor my ability to work efficiently. I think my writing must take some of the credit for this. I have probably spent as much time at my home desk as I would at the office. My typing has never been superfast – I just can't learn to type, although I can find the keys in the dark (weird) - but it has definitely improved since I returned to writing.

I'm now trying to find more temping while I also seek permanent employment. Until then, I intend writing something on this blog as often as possible. I'm sure much will be the usual rambling rubbish, but I hope to also write blogs that entertain, amuse or even provoke conversation. I am a wannabe writer and I need to write if I'm to ever be a real writer.

After all, isn't the point of blogging to write?

Published!!

A couple of months ago I wrote a short piece, as part of a Writers Bureau assignment, on amateur photographers who were taking paid work from professionals.

My tutor liked the piece in terms of the actual writing, but doubted there would be anyone interested in printing it. I was naturally quite disappointed and decided to send it off anyway.

Imagine my surprise when I received a phone call from the Editor of a national magazine (Photo Professional). He informed me he liked the piece and wanted to use it as part of an article in an upcoming issue. I was delighted and couldn't stop grinning as I told everyone my news.

Well, this week the magazine hit the shops. I walked into WH Smith yesterday to check it was actually true (unfortunately I forgot to take my wallet, so I couldn't buy it!) and have a read. I stood in the shop grinning like an idiot, unable to believe it had happened – there was my piece taking up half a page in a real magazine! There was even a photo of me (I hate my picture being taken so it's fairly rare) to prove it.

I'm sure the many writers who are regularly published will laugh at such excitement over a fairly small and unpaid item, but I am still buzzing with the thrill of this achievement. It has convinced me to try harder to get more (and paid) work published. The thrill may wear off eventually – until then I'm the guy walking around town smiling for no apparent reason!

No redemption for my bad guys...

I was watching a Bond film this weekend when I was reminded of a pet hate in modern film – the redemption of the 'bad guy'.
In this particular film, the murderous henchman 'Jaws' helps Bond escape because he (Jaws) has found a young love. Instantly all his murders are forgiven and we are assured by Bond "He'll be fine." For the entire film he has been a murderer, but now he's a good guy???
This particular habit has been seen for years in modern films. Darth Vader is redeemed at the end of Return of the Jedi when he decides not to assist in the murder of his son. By the end of the film he is seen in ghost form, waving and smiling. It would appear his one act of mercy redeems him from the millions of deaths he has caused. I'm sure the many victims would say "Oh, okay. He didn't kill his son, he must be a good guy now..."
Why does Hollywood feel the need to 'save' the truly evil character in such a way? I'm sure we could all name dozens of films where an apparently evil person suddenly becomes a good guy moments before their death. Is this the modern version of the religious fiction involving death bed salvation?
I find this particularly ridiculous when you consider the real world. Nazi concentration camp guards are, quite rightly, arrested and convicted sixty years after the event. No-one would say they should be forgiven as they've been well behaved ever since. They committed atrocities and will die with that around their necks.
I am not religious and believe in neither Heaven nor Hell, I believe your punishment should be to live (or die) with the cost of your life actions on your conscience. I do not agree with the concept of forgiveness for showing contrition. When was that punishment for the taking of innocent lives? If Bin Laden was found working in an orphanage, having foresworn violence, would he have been forgiven? Of course not.
Hitler was apparently kind to children and his dogs. He was still a mass murderer and deserving of eternal condemnation by history.
Let's remember one or two acts of kindness are not enough to redeem an evil person, even in fiction. They are usually self-serving acts anyway. The killer who lets a person live is normally indulging a whim. Nothing more.
I certainly hope to make my characters, good and bad, more complex than the two dimensional white hat/black hat convention, but I will also remember evil is always evil at heart. There will be no last minute salvation for my bad guys.

Published at last!

It's been a bit of a strange week.

After months of applying for jobs, two interviews came along together. I had one yesterday and I've just come back from a second. What's going on? Why have I gone from famine to feast? I'm uncertain about wanting one of the jobs – I'm not sure I would fit in – but, it's still good to actually get a chance at last.

Speaking of which, I am going to be published!

I recently wrote a piece for the WB coursework which my tutor felt was unlikely to find a market. I disagreed as I believed it was relevant to many people, so I sent it to a photography magazine (ostensibly for the letters page, although it was a little long). This Wednesday I received a phone call from the editor asking if he could use it as part of a feature. I was delighted and readily agreed.

He came back and asked for a photo of me to go with the piece. This was harder than writing the item. I am a photographer; I take the pictures and hide behind the camera. I don't like having my picture taken and, in my opinion, always look like Shrek's uglier brother.

Still, I set up my gear and took a handful of self portraits in the hope of finding an acceptable image. The Editor seemed pleased with the picture I sent, but I still await the mockery from everyone I know.

Perhaps next time, I'll tell them I'm a vampire and don't show up on film...

Bully? Not me - I'm famous!!

I was recently reading an article on a certain foul mouthed chef when a question occurred to me. Exactly when did the famous British good manners and sense of fair play become replaced by appalling behaviour and cruelty?

I don't watch  so called 'reality' TV (although it certainly doesn't reflect any reality I'm aware of), nor do I care for  the many 'talent' shows currently infesting the channels, so I'm perhaps ill placed to discuss this issue.

However, it seems to me, we have permitted the popular culture to be taken over by bullies and yobs. TV shows seem to want to humiliate participants for the pleasure of the overpaid, over-hyped and often talentless host. 

Why do the public go on these shows, knowing how they'll be treated? Simple - they are willing to be used and abused in the desperate hope they will be plucked from obscurity and awarded the keys to the world of fame and fortune. Some even manage it for a while, although they are often still used as a punchline...

I know someone who applied for the X-Factor. They are an accomplished singer who, a few years ago, came third in a BBC amateur singing contest (first and second went to people who had previously held recording contracts). They didn't make it through the first round of auditions.

Most of the people being chosen to go through were those most likely to provide the judges with the opportunity to laugh at them. A few lucky, talented performers were selected, but the  main goal was to provide fodder for the bullies.

The Weakest Link features a deeply unpleasant woman who cruelly mocks her victims between rounds. Her apparent superiority appears based on nothing more substantial than a BBC contract and assured payment at the end of the episode. She is reputed to fly into a rage if anyone dares stand up to her. In any other environment this would be considered bullying in the workplace and open to legal action. In showbusiness it is regarded as 'entertainment'. 

There must be something deeply wrong with anyone who feels the need to be so nasty to people - even worse is the fact they are not only permitted to behave in this way, but the victim is restrained from defending themselves. 

Some of these programmes now encourage the audience to join in with the bullying by shouting down the 'victim'. This seems very reminiscent of Ancient Rome and the gladiatorial battles. The gladiators (or the Christians) were there to be sacrificed to the public desire for entertainment. They were offered the very slim chance to succeed and gain their freedom and some form of riches (much like the contestants of today) although their true purpose was to feed the hunger for blood of the audience.

Perhaps it should be remembered the Games were introduced to take the public's mind off of the problems of the state. No-one seems to bay for blood during the good times - only when times are hard. These bullies and yobs belong in a different world to the rest of us. 

Most of us will have seen the recent 'war of words' on a writing forum between a disgruntled writer and a reviewer. The behaviour of the writer was that of a spoiled child having a tantrum. This led to a high number of comments criticising (quite rightly) her behaviour. If only as many people were as vociferous about all the high profile bullies in the modern media. 

It's time we reasserted our right to a decent and caring society and take the bullies toys away. Remove them from our screens until they can demonstrate the ability to behave like decent members of society.

Unfortunately, I suspect, the public thirst for blood - both real and figurative - is now so ingrained we are stuck with this 'entertainment' for the foreseeable future. 

Perhaps Stephen King's Running Man isn't fantasy but foresight...